Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
