Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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