Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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