why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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