I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
