ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
