You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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