we're blogging at a bar
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I faked an abortion last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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