kristin has been a bad kristin
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
