I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
