How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Houston, we have a blender
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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