wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
