I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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