if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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