It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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