I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
