i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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