You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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