WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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