Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
