Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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