My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
