Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
