I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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