O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
