Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
