i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
