I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
