Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
