you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
