I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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