you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
