I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
