just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
