Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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