if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
soo... how was my night?
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