last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
