as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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