arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
