just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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