My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
