Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
