And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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