I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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