Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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