Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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