when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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