Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
