it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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