We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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