If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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