He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
