Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
