I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
