Umm I'm too high to move.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
