ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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