check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
