I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
