yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
