guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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