Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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